Could Not Join the Dance
by kuro's girl
Summary: After watching Alice for months, Jervis finally works up enough courage to visit her. One-sided Jervis/Alice.


**After years, I finally worked up the nerve to post a story for this fandom. I know there are already numerous Jervis/Alice fics out there, but I wanted to do something different. As much as I enjoy the pairing, I don't think it would have the same appeal if they had actually gotten together. As the summary said, this is a one-sided Jervis/Alice fic.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except one character.**

Could Not Join the Dance

It wasn't in anyway stalking; at least not to him. No, all Jervis Tetch would do was periodically check on his dear Alice. Though, at times, he would finger a mind control card in his pocket as he watched her.

"But then Alice wouldn't be Alice." he muttered sadly. The thought of a world without Alice terrified him. There couldn't be a Wonderland without Alice. His Wonderland. That was something that he had to correct people on.

The check-ups became frequent when he noticed the small round bump on her abdomen. Scarecrow rolled his eyes when Jervis frantically told him the news.

He was greeted with the sight of her stomach getting bigger every time her saw her. When she was about due, he checked on her everyday. What of that Bandersnatch Billy wasn't there when the time came? The waiting was unbearable, how must poor Alice feel?

It was a warm day in April when Alice came out of the house, holding Billy for support. For the first and only time, Jervis was thankful for Billy's existence. Initially, he had wanted to follow them to the hospital, but surely someone would recognize him? He didn't have enough mind control cards for an entire hospital. Sulking, he went back to his current hideout and brooded. For a while, he had resisted an idea that kept plaguing his mind. He wanted to see her, to talk to her. She could at least give him that couldn't she? Scarecrow's chastising voice filled his head. _Are you that much of a fool?_ If he was a fool, then so be it.

But how to go about it? Though he was indeed mad, he still had some sense. Obviously, it would have to be when Billy wasn't there. He could always slip a card behind his ear, but that wouldn't put him in Alice's good graces. If she had any left to give him.

He was for once in normal attire. Not his _normal_, but a shirt, vest, and black slacks. He wanted Alice to be as calm and relaxed as possible. All in all, it was a stupid plan, but he so desperately wanted to see his Alice.

His finger hesitated before he pushed the doorbell. After a few moments, the door opened.

"Yes?" She froze with the baby in her arms. Her eyes were wide, her mouth gaping. It hurt him but at least she didn't scream. Yet. He saw her hand begin to shut the door.

"Please Alice." He raised arms akimbo. "I'm not going to harm you."

She stopped. "Then why are you here?"

He felt like he had been slapped. "I... I wanted to see how you were doing." The baby stirred. She looked at him with blue eyes and smiled. "What's her name?"

She paused, looking unsure. "It's Dinah." she responded after taking a breath. Jervis all but swooned. She was indeed a girl after his own heart. Said girl was now scrutinizing him, causing him to nervously shift his weight on each foot. He stopped breathing. "Would... you like to come in?" He exhaled loudly, glad and even somewhat shocked that she was even letting him in.

The house was moderately decorated. Correction. It was _becoming_ moderately decorated. After all, Billy and Alice had once been a couple just getting started with their life together. Cheaply made furniture was mixed in with pieces of better quality.

She led him into the dining room. "Would you like some tea?" she asked as she put Dinah in a carrier

"That would be lovely, thank you." He looked around the room and frowned. This could have been _their _life. Sitting down and having tea. Just being near each other. He had had an inkling that just seeing her would trigger painful thoughts and it almost made him give up the whole endeavor.

His thoughts were interrupted as she placed the cups on the table. The two of them of sat across from each other. A heavy silence filled the room except for the light clink of the tea cups hitting the saucers.

"Why did you do it?" she suddenly inquired. "I've always wanted to ask you, but Billy wouldn't let me come to visit you."

Today was full of surprises. She had wanted to see him!... but only to confront him about his crimes. "You were the only one to... to reach out to me. You're very kind Alice. You even let me in."

"It wasn't because my name is Alice?"

"Although I understand why you would think that. No." She shook her head slowly and resumed drinking her tea. "There... There was also another reason for me coming here." She stopped mid sip and stared at him with a hint of worry. "I wanted to tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"That... Why doth the little crocodile..."

"Jervis! What did you want to tell me?"

He looked sheepish. "I wanted to tell you that I never meant to hurt you!" Judging by her expression, he came to the conclusion that he had said it too fast. She leaned back in her chair, not taking her eyes off of him. Under the table, he began frantically wringing his hands.

"I..."

The conversation was cut short when Dinah began to cry. Alice quickly got up and went to the cradle. "She needs changed." she said before walking away.

Jervis stayed seated at the table. This was going better than expected. Better than if he had used a mind control card. He wondered how long it would last. Even though this was Wonderland, reality would intrude sooner or later.

He spotted a wedding picture on the small table along the wall and was tempted to smash it to pieces or at least lay it face down. No, after all, she had trusted him so far and that would ruin the entire thing.

"There. All better." He turned and saw her cooing over her baby. Dinah looked at him curiously. Alice looked at her and then to Jervis. "Um... Would you like to hold her?"

He was thankful that he was sitting down. "Are... are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She placed the baby in his arms.

"Am I doing this right?" He was about to start quoting Lewis Carroll again.

"You're doing fine." He started slowly rocking her. "She seems to like you." The bitter thoughts came back in full force. Was it really difficult for people to understand why he would rather be in Wonderland?

A car door slammed shut. Both of their heads shot up. "Billy's home!" She took a now sleeping Dinah out of Jervis' arms and put her back in the cradle. "Here. Go out the back door." she said quickly, guiding him there with a light touch on his back. A tingle went up his spine.

"It was a pleasure talking to you Alice." Despite the strong urge to kiss her hand, he thought better of it and bowed to her instead.

She smiled and nodded. "Goodbye Jervis." She held out her hand. He looked at it and then to her face. "It's fine." Their hands connected and this time a tingle went up his arm.

The loud click of a key was heard. Her hand retracted. "Hurry Jervis." she whispered.

He sped down the stairs and made for his car down the street. Alice had shaken his hand! She had even let him hold Dinah! His heart leapt. "Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!." he exclaimed. The euphoric feeling died as he drove past the house.

As soon as he got back to his hideout, he sat in his favorite chair. A much loved copy of _Alice in Wonderland _lay on a coffee table next to it. He ran a finger lovingly over the cover and pulled out a slip of paper from inside the cover.

"Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance." He put his head in his hands and sobbed, the picture of Alice falling noiselessly on the ground.

**So how was that for something different?**


End file.
